MAchistas
1
- How do you know when a women's
about to say something smart?
- When she starts her sentence with
"A man once told me...."
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- How do you fix a woman's watch?
- You don't...there's a clock on the
oven!
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- Why do women have smaller feet
than men ?
- So they can stand closer to the
sink
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- Why do men die before their wives?
- They want to.
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- Why do men pass gas more than
women?
- Because women won't shut up long
enough to build up pressure
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- One golfer tells another:
- "Hey, guess what! I got a set
of golf clubs for my wife!"
- The other replies: "GREAT
trade!"
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- What do you do when your wife
comes out of the kitchen to whine at you?
- You make the chain shorter
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- What's worse than a Male
Chauvinist Pig?
- A woman that won't do what she's
told!
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- Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares!
- What was she doing out of the
kitchen???
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- I married Miss Right.
- I just didn't know her first name
was Always.
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- It's not true that married men
live longer than single men.
- It only seems longer.
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- Losing a wife can be hard
- In my case, it was almost
impossible.
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- Wife: Let's go out and have some
fun tonight.
- Husband: Okay, but if you get home
before I do, leave the hallway light on.
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- Husband: Put your coat on love,
I'm going to the bar.
- Wife: Are you taking me out for a
drink?
- Husband: Don't be silly woman, I'm
turning the heat off...
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- Why do Japanese Sumo Wrestlers
shave their legs?
- So you can tell them apart from
the feminists.
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- I haven't spoken to my wife for 18
months-
- I don't like to interrupt her.
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- What do you call a woman who has
lost 95% of her intelligence?
- Divorced.
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- Why do women like intelligent men?
- Opposites attract.
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- Most accidents happen at home.
- And the men have to eat them!
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- Some mornings I wake up grouchy...
- and some mornings I just let her
sleep!
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- What do you call a woman who has
lost her mind?
- A widow.
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- A man is incomplete until he is
married.
- After that, he is finished.
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- Bigamy is having one wife too
many.
- Some say monogamy is the same.
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- Scientists have discovered a food
that diminishes a women's sex drive by 90 percent....
- Wedding cake!!!
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- Marriage is not a word, it is a
sentence
- A Life Sentence!!
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- Do you know the punishment for
bigamy?
- Two mothers-in-law.