SHE WAS SO BLONDE...

she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she thought a quarterback was a refund
she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
she tried to drown a fish
she tripped over a cordless phone
she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said"concentrate"
she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
she got stabbed in a shoot-out
she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK"
she sat on the tv and watched the couch
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back
they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius"
she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
she studied for a blood test - and failed
she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
she sold the car for gas money
when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends
when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home